My secret passion

I have a secret passion. It’s a passion that’s shared by a surprising number of gay men, but you don’t hear about it very often. When we do talk about it, we tend to speak in hushed tones, fearful that someone may hear us and thus be subject to ridicule and derision. I’ve had this passion since I was a young boy, and it’s about time I come out of the closet. It’s … Professional Wrestling.

My earliest memory of pro wrestling was being introduced to it by my best friend on Saturday afternoon television. I think I was around 5 years old and I was instantly hooked. There was something about two – or more – sweaty men, wearing next to nothing, grappling with each other that was utterly fascinating to me. Perhaps a precursor of things to come later in life, or maybe I was gay even then? Whatever the reason, I completely bought into the wrestling myth that everything I saw was real. Of course, I also believed in the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus back then too. This was also a time when the wrestlers and promoters perpetuated that myth much more stringently than they do today. We’re talking about the early 70’s here, so it wasn’t until years later that Vince McMahon, then Owner and now Chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), publicly admitted wrestling outcomes were scripted. Yet that knowledge did nothing to lessen my passion, mainly because I had already figured that out. Like, duh! “You just rammed your opponent’s head into a steel ring post and he doesn’t have a mark to show for it.” It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the move was faked. The biggest thrill as a kid though, was the fact that wrestling shows actually came to my hometown. I grew up in a small town in Northern Ontario where there really wasn’t much to do, so when the show came, everybody went. I have very fond memories of seeing some of the legends of the industry – Hulk Hogan, Mad Dog Vachon and best of all, Andre the Giant. Andre was a man you simply had to see in real life to appreciate how huge he was.

Now I tend to get more enjoyment from following the inner workings of the industry and trying to separate fact from fiction. That’s not the only reason I enjoy wrestling, however. I find it enjoyable on a number of levels from my admiration for the incredibly athletic feats that modern wrestlers exhibit, to the simple eye candy value. Search for images of Randy Orton on the web to see what I mean about that last point or have a look at the picture above. The man looks more like a gay porn star than a pro wrestler. The main reason I enjoy wrestling, however, is that I consider it a civilized form of entertainment.

I’ll let that last statement sink in for a moment.

Before you think I’ve gone completely off my rocker, consider this: In sports like boxing and ultimate fighting the goal is to beat the living bejesus out of your opponent until he or she is unable to continue. On the other hand, professional wrestlers undergo extensive training to ensure neither “combatant” gets injured. Injuries do happen in wrestling, but more often than not it is the wrestler that ends up hurting himself through miscalculation and error. Pro wrestling is a fictional depiction of violence, not unlike a Bruce Willis Die Hard movie. When it comes right down to it, I would rather watch two guys pretend to pummel each other into submission than watch two guys actually do it. I can rest assured that when a wrestling match is over, neither men have been injured and these mortal enemies will most likely end up going for a beer together.

All is not rosy in the world of pro wrestling, however. In 2004, USA TODAY published an article that stated wrestlers are 20 times more likely to die before the age of 45 than professional football players and 12 times more likely to die from heart disease than Americans aged 22 to 45. Steroid, painkiller and illicit drug use seem to play a large role in the deaths. Pressures on wrestlers to attain and maintain “superhero” type physiques and perform amazing feats of strength and agility force a number of these performers to put their lives at risk by using such substances. And it’s not only their lives that are at risk.

That has never been more evident than the gruesome June 25, 2007 discovery of Canadian grappler Chris Benoit, his wife and son found dead in their home in Fayetteville, Georgia. The subsequent revelation that Chris killed his wife and son before taking his own life stunned both industry insiders and fans alike. Almost immediately, steriods were blamed for the tragedy. To be completely fair, it has not been proven that “roid rage” played a role in the deaths, although that fact has not stopped the media from speculating on it, especially in light of the fact that Benoit did have steroids in his system at the time of his death. The WWE has been quick to point to their random drug testing program and that Benoit had passed a test in April 2007. The determination that the deaths occurred over the span of 2-3 days also seems to indicate this was a more deliberate and calculated act than a spontaneous one based on rage. In all likelihood, Benoit had much deeper issues and was in need of serious psychiatric help, but that's just a guess on my part.


And that's all anyone can do. Guess, because the truth is it most likely will never be known why Benoit did what he did. And that’s the toughest part to take. How could a man so respected by peers and fans alike, a man by all accounts a loving father, devoted family man, consummate professional in the business he loved and all around nice guy commit the horrendous act of strangling his wife and smothering his seven year old boy? Those of us who admired Chris Benoit are left reeling, trying to make sense of something that is inherently senseless. His actions have dealt a black eye to the wrestling world and it is truly a shame that he will be remembered in death as a monster instead of the incredible athlete and performer he was in life.

Despite the double murder – suicide, however, I will not allow this event to colour my perceptions of my favourite form of entertainment. On the July 9 episode of Larry King Live, former wrestler Bret “The Hitman” Hart stated “The actions of one man should not be allowed to taint wrestling” and I agree. I will continue to watch and will not turn my back on the “sport” I enjoy because of Benoit’s actions.

I have been a fan for over 35 years, I will continue to be a fan and for the first time in my life, I don’t care who knows it.

Now if you’ll excuse me, wrestling just came on television.