Ch-ch-ch-changes

Ch-ch-changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time

Changes by David Bowie

I’ve changed a lot over the last few years. I’ve gone from working in factory fixing machinery and making parts to doing web development in a corporate environment. I’ve gone from a “vanilla” kind of guy to someone who likes to explore the kinkier side of life. I’ve had some people leave my life and others come into it. Through it all, I’ve tried to remain true to who I am – a easy-going, caring, compassionate and forgiving person. Sometimes it hasn’t been easy and I’ve lost sight of myself, but I can honestly say that I have rediscovered my true nature and have made a resolution to stay that way.

One of the more interesting aspects of my recent turn is that I am quite suddenly very happy. I credit a few things for this: I’ve quit drugs, I’ve removed some negative influences in my life and introduced some very positive ones. I’ve also made efforts to move my career in a direction that suits my talents and strengths. The main reason I am happy, however, is because I made a conscious decision to be exactly that. I used to sit on my sofa doing nothing more than smoking pot, watching TV and bemoaning the fact that I was so alone, but not actually doing anything about it. That changed a few weeks ago when I decided enough was enough. I truly believe we are all architects of our personal realities and it was this thought that inspired me to make some alterations to mine. It was either that or become a lonely stoner with no life and that was simply unacceptable. I wish I could tell you that there is some magic formula to happiness, but there isn’t. One simply has to decide. After all, sitting around getting high is a choice and so is getting out into the world and enjoying it. And having been excruciatingly familiar with the former, I chose the latter.

I don’t want to give the impression that I’m a walking anti-drug campaign because I’m not. Drugs affect different people in different ways. For me, it sucks away any motivation I have and leaves me a lump on the couch. And while that can be fun once in a while, it tends to get a little old when you do it 7 days a week. It’s also damned expensive, so the choice for me was obvious, but that may not be the right choice for everyone. Only you know what’s right for you.

What I am saying is that if you find yourself unhappy in your life and don’t know what to do, try changing it. I can’t tell you exactly how to change it, since everyone is different, but I can tell you that if you don’t opt for something different, you’ll be pretty much stuck in a rut. And that is not a good place to be.

Change is never easy, especially the older you get. But think about this: what have you got to lose besides misery?

I know. I’ve been there and I’ve come out of it. Things may not be perfect in my life – how boring would THAT be – but they’re definitely headed in the right direction. There’s a bright light in my life at the end of the proverbial tunnel which is a lot closer these days than it’s been in a long time.

And I’m very happy about that.